There are certain people who, regardless of their shortcomings or disadvantages, are able to constantly radiate with charm, energy and confidence, allowing them to win over countless peers. These people are the lifeblood of a party, who you turn to for all sorts of things. What makes these sort of people so irresistible is that their sense of self-worth comes from within. People who are that irresistible are confident enough that they have no need to search for validation, and pursue different habits every day to maintain such a perspective. But what are some of these tricks to becoming irresistible? I recently came across an article that shared some of the traits of irresistible people, listed below:
1. They treat everybody with respect: Whether interacting with their boss or their waiter, irresistible people are always polite, and understand that you need to treat everybody, not just the people who they’re trying to impress, with respect. This is because they don’t believe that they’re better than anybody else.
2. They follow the platinum rule: While the Bible speaks of the Golden Rule (treat others as you want to be treated), this rule actually has a fatal flaw, since it assumes that all people want to be treated the same way and ignores that people are motivated by a wide array of things. The Platinum Rule, or that you should treat others as they want to be treated, corrects that flaw. Irresistible people are good at reading other people, and can adjust how they act to make them feel comfortable.
3. They ditch small talk: Forced elevator conversations and sticking to small talk is a great way to prevent any sort of emotional connection. Irresistible people are able to create a connection and find depth, even in short, every-day conversations. Their genuine interest in other people makes it easy for them to ask good questions and relate what they’re told.
4. They focus on people above all else: Irresistible people are genuinely interested in people around them, and therefore don’t spend too much time thinking about themselves. Since they’re too busy focusing on the people they’re with, they don’t obsess over how well they’re liked. To make this habit work for you, don’t pay attention to your smartphone and instead focus on people when you’re with them. Focus on what they’re saying, and when people tell you something about themselves, follow up with open-ended questions to help draw them out more.
5. They don’t try too hard: Irresistible people don’t try to dominate the conversation with stories about themselves. They’re not resisting an urge to brag, since they know how unlikeable somebody is who tries to hard to get other people to like them.
6. They recognize the difference between fact and opinion: When it comes to touchy or controversial topics, irresistible people don’t shrink from sharing their opinions, but also make it clear that what they’re saying isn’t fact, just their opinion, and recognize that many people just as smart as they are see things differently.
7. They’re authentic: An irresistible person knows that nobody likes a fake, or likes spending their time trying to figure out their agenda. People naturally gravitate towards authentic people because they know that they’re trustworthy.
8. They have integrity: People with high integrity walk their walk and talk their talk. While integrity isn’t a hard concept to understand, it’s often difficult to practice. Irresistible people follow through with what they say, avoid talking badly about other people and do the right thing.
9. They smile: People naturally mirror the body language of whoever they’re talking to. If you smile at somebody during conversation, they’ll unconsciously return the favor and feel better in the process.
10. They make an effort (but not too much of an effort) to look their best: There’s a massive difference between being presentable and vain. Making an effort to look your best is comparable to cleaning your house before company arrives, but irresistible people understand that once they’ve made themselves presentable, they don’t need to keep thinking about it.
11. They find reasons to love life: Irresistible people are positive and passionate, and since they see life as an amazing adventure, they’re never bored and approach everything with a contagious and “irresistible” joy. These people still have problems, but they’re able to approach them as temporary obstacles as opposed to inescapable fate.